College Ready
We’re moving into that time of year when parents gear up to send their kids off to college. I’ve personally been down this road twice. While it’s a fun and exciting time, it can also be stressful and emotional. Here are a few practical tips on things you can do to make the transition easier and give you and your college-bound teen peace of mind while they are away at school.
If your teen is going to school nearby, you may not need all of these precautions. Both of my kids moved across the country, so they rarely came home. Being prepared was one of the best things I could have done for them and for me.
Start Early:
The life skills our kids need as adults starts in the home. Setting appropriate goals as they age will help them feel more prepared once they fly the nest. I thought I was doing a good job in this area until the day one of my boys, who was around 15 years old, asked me if that ‘blue box on the corner’ is where the mail goes. It was then that I realized I needed to do a better job of preparing the kids for adult life. Check in on yourself and make sure they know the basics like how to do their laundry, make a few easy meals, pay bills and tidy up after themselves.
Preparing for Financial Independence:
There are several things you can do to make sure your child understands how to be a financially responsible adult, including the importance of saving. Our financial advisor explained it to our youngest perfectly, because we’d hear all the time…“but, it’s only $200”. Our financial advisor said, it’s only $200 now, but if invested well, could be $100,000+ later. That got him thinking and he now has a nice sized savings and is invested in the market at age 17.
Get them set up with their own bank account
Our boys got their own checking accounts and debit cards at age 14. This allowed them to learn how to manage their money, understand how to deposit, use direct deposit, balance their checkbook and understand the basics and responsibilities of having a bank account and debit card.
Make sure you also have a way to send them money before they leave for college. (Zelle, Venmo, Apple Cash, PayPal). Having the ability to send them cash quickly if needed is important.
Get them their own phone plan: Before going off to college, assuming they are 18 or older, I highly recommend that you get them their phone account in their name. This allows them to build credit. You, as the parent, could still pay the bill, but having the phone in their name helps them build a good credit history.
I’ve talked to so many parents who took care of everything for their kids but once they graduated they had no credit. This means they can’t get an apartment, car loan or credit card on their own. I know parents who have 25 year old kids and they still need to cosign for things because they haven’t established a credit history.
Have your child apply for a student credit card around junior year in college. By then, hopefully they will have built up enough credit and/or have a job. Discover has a great student credit card that has served our kids well. My son started out with a small credit limit of $500. He would pay for his phone bill with that card and pay it off monthly. Through on time payments he has increased his credit substantially and has a credit score that most adults would be envious of.
Think about getting renter’s insurance. The add-on cost to your insurance carrier is normally small but can save you big in the event of property damage or theft.
Medical Care:
This area can bring a lot of worry to parents. Not being near your child in case of a medical emergency is unsettling, but there are a few things you can do to make things go smoother in the event they need medical care.
Make sure they have a copy of their medical, dental and vision insurance cards.
If they have prescriptions, make sure they are transferred to a pharmacy close to their school. If your teen may be home more frequently, you can look into getting a 90-day supply of medications from your doctor.
Find a reputable local urgent care facility and hospital so in the event of an emergency, your teen will know where to go.
Find a local doctor, just in case. While wellness checks can be done when your child visits home, it’s good to have a connection with a doctor near your child’s university, especially for those who have kids across the country. Trust me when I say it’s good to have a connection prior to an emergency situation. If your child plays an NCAA sport, there will more than likely be a team doctor or medical facilitator on site. Take the time to introduce yourself, meet with them and get their contact information.
Find a psychologist or therapist. Again, the school will likely have a social services department that can assist in this area. You don’t want to wait until there is an emergency to begin searching for a mental health provider for your teen.
Medical Emergency Planning:
Many parents don’t realize that once your child turns 18 you no longer have access to their medical records or can make medical decisions for them. Accidents and illnesses can happen to anyone at any time and you want to be able to speak to health care providers and help make decisions for your teen once they leave home. Here are some options to consider:
1. Health Care Proxy
This authorizes you (or someone you appoint) to make medical decisions on your teen’s behalf. It also gives you access to their medical records and allows you the opportunity to speak with their health care providers. Basically, your teen appoints you to make medical decisions in the event that they cannot make them for themselves.
2. HIPAA Release Authorization
This permits healthcare providers to discuss your teen’s healthcare information to you or anyone they specify. Your child may specify that they don’t want to disclose information about sex, drugs, mental health or other details they want to remain private.
3. Educational Authorization
This form, signed by your child, allows you to view their educational records and/or discuss education plans with the school. If you have a child with a learning disability, this can be so helpful so you can be included in the educational support for your teen.
A great resource for all the forms and information on these authorizations, visit Mama Bear Legal Forms. They make it super easy and affordable to get all of the above done with ease.
Emotional Support for Your College-Bound Teen:
Your child is probably so excited and ready to go, but deep down, they are anxious too. I remember when my kids were leaving…they showed all of their anxiety in the form of frustration…I look back now and see the clues. If their behavior is less than desirable the months leading up to college, realize that their behavior has little to do with you and a lot to do with their feelings of moving away and being out on their own.
Think about some of the emotions and side effects of those emotions they may experience…anxiety, inability to focus, home sickness, inability to sleep, reduced immune function, sadness, digestive upset and more. This is where essential oils can have a huge impact on their emotions. Here is a study published on PubMed that shows the impact essential oils can have for mood management.
I love to incorporate essential oils and supplements to aid in emotional and physical health. The effectiveness, ease of use and affordability of essential oils to help in these areas makes them a great solution and they are perfect for college-age kids who want quick and easy solutions. Here are a few recommendations:
Getting a well-rounded essential oils kit to address a broad spectrum of issues is a great place to start. I recommend the Aroma Essentials Kit with a few add-ons. This kit will address the emotions and support some physical ailments they may have as well. It also comes with a diffuser, which is a lifesaver! The diffuser can help with stress/sleep/focus and overall health, but also provide a nice aroma to that college dorm room!
If you want additional support, I incorporate supplements into the mix. These can be a game changer and really support your teen during this transition and beyond.
Adaptive Capsules - stress and emotions support
Copaiba Softgels - stress, emotions, digestive and pain support
Life Long Vitality - whole body wellness support
If you have an athlete, I recommend all of the above in addition to Deep Blue Rub and AromaTouch.
If you already have dōTerra essential oils and want to get creative, you can do what I did and make a rollerball kit that included the following:
Energy Blend
Immune Blend
Digestive Support
Sleep Blend
The recipes for these blends can be found on my website at www.tammyhicks.com under essential oils. Or visit the direct page here.
Emotional Support for the Parents:
While I was sad when my kids were leaving home, it brings me so much joy to see them venture on their own and start their lives…after all, this is what we’ve been preparing for all these years! Having said that, it can be an emotional time for both the child and the parent.
My healthy lifestyle and essential oils get me through so much, especially the emotions that are front and center when your child flies the nest. If you’re looking for supportive solutions during this time, I recommend the Emotional Aromatherapy Touch kit with the Laluz diffuser. This will give you the tools you need to manage ALL THE EMOTIONS.
I am excited about my kids being out in the world, expanding their knowledge, finding themselves and experiencing new things. It can be scary as a parent to let go, but I try to take those anxious feelings and look at it from my child’s perspective. It’s a whole new beginning for them. In order for them to grow, we need to let go, and in my opinion, it’s the hardest part of parenting. I have to remind myself that this is their time to step into the world and into themselves and we are here to support them on that journey. Good luck moms and dads! You’ve got this!
